


Failed Save

by Awesome_Sauce432



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Beau Failed Her WIS Save And Everything Went Downhill From There, Brainwashing, Gen, Heavy Angst, Mind Control, Mind Those Major Character Death Tags, Monks Are Scary, Nearly everyone dies, Paranoia, This Is Basically Just Me Trying To Imagine How That Fight Could Have Gotten WORSE, no happy ending, this is dark yall, this is the darkest timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 13:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18152642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: In our universe, Beau rolled a 22 on a wisdom save against the incubus, leaving her free and clear to kill the demon and help her far more injured friends. In another universe, she and her friends aren't so lucky.





	Failed Save

_ “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of playing with you yet.”  _ A silky smooth voice slipped through her ears and Beau stumbled, her hands twitching. 

 

She felt the words encircle her mind like a vice, something warm and safe, blocking the pumping of her heart and the sounds of blood in her ears, the battle raging around her. A part of her instinctively pushed back against it, not trusting it, but the words sunk into her, blowing away any resistance like wind blew dust away.

 

_ There we go.  _

 

The voice sounded vague, oddly familiar but not enough for her to place who it was. But it sounded so nice, so strong. Only a few feet away from her, Beau could see Yasha standing there, blood-slicked greatsword in her arms, bruises beginning to form on her arms from where Beau had punched her. 

 

_ She hurt Caleb.  _

 

Yasha hurt Caleb. Beau felt a warmth spreading throughout her body, the sensation of hands curling hers into fists, raising them up in a practised fighting stance. 

 

_ She leaves you all the time.  _

 

“Beau?” Yasha’s eyes were widening slightly, and Beau just stared at her, a growing realisation of what she had to do settling over her. 

 

_ Don’t let her take anyone else away from you. _

 

She jumped forward, fists ready to fly. Yasha fought back — of course she did, she didn’t want Beau to stop her — blocking a few of the punches with her greatsword, trying to recollect herself to launch an offense, to stop her. But Beau dodged each strike as swiftly as she made her own, her entire mind focused on what she had to do, what the silky voice whispered into her ears.

 

She had to stop Yasha. Don’t let her hurt anyone else. Don’t let her leave again.  _ Stop her _ .

 

One well-placed kick to the back of the knees sent Yasha collapsing to her knees, tears in her eyes before another kick sent her to ground. She moved to try and get up and Beau slammed her staff down onto Yasha’s temple, knocking her out with a crack. Beau stared down at her for a moment, feeling a little light-headed, her vision a bit blurry around the edges.

 

_ Well done, dear. _

 

The voice slipped through the haze, crystal clear where everything else was murky, a feeling of satisfaction settling around her. It kept whispering praise into her ears, and when she turned around to see Fjord, Jester, the others staring at her with horror in their eyes, she found she didn’t really care.

 

She’d done a good thing. Yasha hurt them all the time, by leaving and by hurting Caleb, and now she couldn’t hurt them anymore. Couldn’t hurt her anymore. This was good.

 

_ They don’t trust your judgement. _

 

The voice, though, the voice knew she’d done what was right. The voice encouraged her, spurred her forward as Fjord began to sling eldritch blast after eldritch blast at her.

 

_ He’s going to stop you. He always thought you were weaker. Prove him wrong. _

 

She easily dodged most of them as she ran up to stop him, but one clipped her shoulder and she stumbled back, the warm haze jolting for a moment, the sounds of everyone’s voices becoming a little sharper. Just for a moment.

 

_ He’s been waiting for the opportunity to get rid of you for  _ **_months._ **

 

And all at once the voice settled around her again, banishing all doubt and concerns, reaching into the darkest corners of her mind and wringing out all the doubts and fears she’d hidden away, and pulling them into the light. 

 

_ They can’t wait to leave you behind. _

 

“Snap out of it!” Fjord sliced at her with her falchion, and Beau couldn’t believe she’d thought he was her friend. 

 

_ They’ll leave you like Dairon did. _

 

Beau kicked Fjord’s ribs and a loud crack pierced the air. A punch to the face and his head hit the wall of the cave, blood beginning to drip from his nose. 

 

_ They’ll leave you behind and pretend you never existed like your parents did. _

 

Fjord slid to the floor, hand clutching his ribs, his eyes dazed.

 

“Oh gods, Beau.” His voice barely reached her, and she didn’t hear the sadness in it. 

 

_ Don’t let them hurt you.  _

 

She heard a whizzing in the air behind her and automatically dodged to the side, a crossbow bolt lodging itself in the wall. She spun around and saw Nott hiding behind a stalagmite, crossbow pointing at her. The goblin cursed, hastily reloading. 

 

_ Don’t let her stop you. You can’t let anyone stop you.  _

 

By the time Beau had run up to where Nott was, another two crossbow bolts had been fired, both of which she narrowly dodged. Nott swore again and ran, always running w _ h _ a _ t a coward. _

 

The first thing Beau did when she caught up to her was kick the crossbow out of her hands, sending it skittering along the cavern floor. Have fun shooting her now, Nott. She yelped, pulling out a dagger and spinning around, lashing out frantically.

 

Beau jumped back, dodging the clumsy strikes before jumping forward again, jabbing Nott in the all the pressure points Dairon had shown her b _ e _ f _ o _ r _ e she left, everyone always leaves, she wouldn’t let them leave her this time, she’d take care of them all before they could hurt her _ . Nott wheezed, falling to one knee and struggling to move, the dagger falling from her grip. 

 

_ She’s never even tried to hide that she didn’t want you around. She deserves it. _

 

She deserved it. It echoed in Beau’s mind as she pinned Nott to the ground, pressing her boot onto her throat, staring with glassy eyes as she watched her friend thrash. But there was no time to savour it. There was still so much she had to do. One more stomp, one more snap, and Nott stopped thrashing.

 

She deserved it. They all deserved it. 

 

_ You’re not done yet, darling. Quickly. _

 

Beau turned away from Nott’s body, just in time to see the massive demon that had come through the portal fall, the remnants of a guiding bolt sizzling from its skin. The demon’s body lay still and Beau stared at it for a moment, feeling nothing but a vague flash of panic in the very back of her mind.

 

“Beau!” A voice caught her attention through the haze and she looked to it. 

 

Jester was standing. Well, not so much standing as pulling herself up by a stalagmite and praying she didn’t fall over. She was bloody and bruised, tears streaming down her face and carving tracks through the blood that stained her face. Her spiritual weapon hovered further away, flickering but still holding strong. 

 

“Beau-” Jester repeated, barely managing to get the syllable out through her sobs. 

 

Around them, the battlefield was silent but for the sounds of crying and Beau’s footsteps. Nott was down. Caleb was down. Yasha was down. Fjord was down. Caduceus was down. The demon was down.

 

“Beau, I’m so sorry-” 

 

_ She’s the only one left. The only one left who can hurt you.  _

 

She took a step forward, hardly feeling her feet. It was like she was floating on air, nothing but the silky voice to guide her forward. 

 

_ When she’s gone, there’ll be nobody holding you back. _

 

“I don’t have any spells left-” Jester was still sobbing, pleading. Didn’t she see there was no point? Beau had realised the truth.

 

It was her against the world. That was how it had always been from the day she was born, and she didn’t know how she’d managed to delude herself into thinking otherwise for so long. How they’d managed to trick her. 

 

“I can’t bring them back. I can’t bring them back-I’m so sorry-” Jester staggered a tiny step forward, one hand reaching out towards Beau. “I’m so sorry.” 

 

_ She’s not sorry. She’s still trying to trick you, even now. _

 

The voice was louder in her head, almost completely drowning out Jester’s voice. She felt blood dripping from her knuckles, felt a warm presence behind her, urging her on. Finish it. Don’t let them hurt you anymore. Don’t let them trick you. 

 

She walked right up to Jester. Jester had always seemed nice to her. She’d braided her hair and told her stories about her life and had listened when Beau told her about hers. 

 

_ She faked it. She never cared about you. No one else has ever cared for you. No one but me. _

 

“I’m so sorry, Beau.” Jester repeated, her eyes squeezed shut as fat tears continued to pour out of them. “This isn’t you.” 

 

_ Do it. Finish what you’ve started. Kill he- _

 

For a split moment, there was absolute silence. Beau’s mind fell still, her eyes widening and her brain seeming to freeze. Behind her, the incubus that had manifested back into reality, prideful and cocky and wanting to watch the end of this fight, fell to the ground as the spiritual weapon continued to hit it. Once, twice, three times, until the incubus stopped moving. 

 

The silky smooth voice slipped out of Beau’s mind. With it, the soft haze that had permeated her since the voice had first whispered to her fell away. With it, the only thing stopping her from realising what she had done vanished.

 

Suddenly Jester’s sobs were crystal clear. 

 

Beau blinked, her entire body suddenly feeling cold except for the blood on her hand, on her face, on her arms, which felt so hot she thought it might burn her. Some of it hers. A lot of it not. 

 

She looked around, a growing horror settling in her bones. 

 

She saw Caduceus lying still on the ground, still breathing but unconscious. 

 

Saw Fjord slumped against the cavern wall, a stain of blood marking where his head had hit the hard stone. 

 

Saw Yasha fallen in a heap, tear tracks running down her cheeks.

 

Saw Nott laying on her back, eyes staring straight up at the ceiling.

 

Saw Caleb on the ground where he’d bled out, no one around to help him.

 

Saw Jester standing in from of her, halfway to death’s door and still crying, apologising over and over. 

 

No. 

 

No no no no-

 

She did this. 

 

Beau fell to her knees, her entire brain  _ screaming  _ at the realisation of what she’d done. She’d killed them. Everything she’d done, everything she’d worked so hard to find. This collection of people who’d put up with her and accepted her and protected her and  _ cared  _ for her, her  _ friends _ . The first real friends she’d had in her entire life.

 

She’d killed them. 

 

Tears began to run down her face and she didn’t even try to stop them. How. How. this didn’t make sense. No.  _ No. _

 

Her cries were rough and ragged, and they didn’t stop even when Jester limped away to Caduceus. She didn’t notice when a barely healed Caduceus laid a hand on her shoulders, giving no healing (not that she deserved it, not after what she’d done), but just resting it there for a few moments. 

 

“Beau-” Jester’s voice hitched. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Beau didn’t hear her, didn’t hear whatever Caduceus murmured to her in response. She’d killed them. She’d ruined everything. No. 

 

It was all her fault. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHO ISN'T DONE WITH THE ANGST FROM THAT FIGHT WHOOPS anyway thanks mighty pride discord for getting talking about the angst and lowkey inspiring this i hope you're happy 
> 
> anyway this is probably the angstiest thing I've written in a while lmao 
> 
> But anyway yeah, if Beau had failed that save, when all her friends except Nott had low health and like two of the party were already down? They'd have had a bad time. 
> 
> Anyway next time I write something I promise it'll be something happy


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